How I Made the Move From the US to Italy
When I decided to move to Italy, I knew I couldn’t tell anyone about my plans. The guilt of hiding such a momentous dream evaporated when I finally shared my secret- no one believed me. Not my colleagues, not my neighbors, not my family, or friends. It wasn’t my dream of moving abroad that they doubted- rather, they never thought that I’d actually do it. Some smiled politely, others laughed out loud. My boss flat out refused to hire my replacement even after I’d put in my notice. To them, my dream was a joke.
Outwardly, I continued going through the motions of my old life, as if it were just a movie playing in the background to appease my ADHD, meanwhile I worked tirelessly towards what felt like an insurmountable goal.
In retrospect, making the decision felt like flipping a switch. I went to bed one night and when I woke up the next morning it was decided. In reality, I had been dreaming of living in Europe since I was in high school. As each year of my adulthood passed by, I witnessed the probability of my dream coming true grow smaller and smaller. It was in 2022, when everyone was trying to pretend that COVID was over, and I was the brokest I’d ever been in my adult life, that I heard about Italian citizenship by descent.
Although I’d heard about jure sanguinis before, more than a decade earlier from a co-worker, I thought my Italian ancestry was too far back for me to qualify. At the time, I was too overwhelmed as a full time student and employee to do any research. Back then I still had hope that I’d find a great job that would sponsor my move to Europe, I never even contemplated dual citizenship. Maybe it was a Tik-Tok video or a Facebook post, I don’t remember now, but in August of 2022 I realized that my sister and I just might be eligible and I dove in.
The timing was perfect, though in the moment it didn’t feel that way. After COVID my career was gone. I was an under-employed, jaded millennial, disillusioned with US politics and the mirage of the American Dream. I was burnt out from the perpetual rat race and I didn’t want to worry anymore about my lack of health insurance snowballing me into bankruptcy. Don’t get me wrong, Europe has its share of problems too- especially Italy. It wasn’t so much a “grass is greener” situation as it was a “I’ve got nothing left to lose, why not throw caution to the wind?” It never feels like the right time to go for your dreams. I had already spent too much time playing the game according to everyone else’s rules. I figured if I was going to continue to be miserable, it might as well be because I tried and failed to do things my own way.
It was terrifying. It still is sometimes. Sometimes I’m awestruck by the beautiful wonder of the ancient buildings in my town and the view of the Mediterranean Sea from my balcony- I pinch myself in disbelief.
This is my real life and I feel so lucky!
Other times I lament the loss of being able to jump in my car, swing by the dispensary, and grab a pint of Haagen-Dazs chocolate peanut butter ice cream on my way back home. Was it worth it? Absolutely. Making this move wasn’t about transplanting my old life onto a new backdrop, and if that is your mindset you’ll certainly fail. It was about challenging what my life could be if I embraced the change, shifted my perspective, and tried something different.
Moving abroad is an enormous feat, but not impossible. It was a series of well organized, measurable tasks. The process demanded patience and flexibility. Things going wrong, or even just differently from my expectations was the norm- so much so that when things went according to plan it made me suspicious. People ask me all the time “how did you do it?” My answer is that I chose it. Not once, not twice, I chose it every day. Every time I was challenged, every time it felt too hard, every time I just wanted to give up or would rather just not exist- I chose it. And I still do. I think that’s true about every hard thing we can do: the real trick isn’t knowing the exact series of steps, or all the potential pitfalls and pain points, it helps, but nothing will make your dreams come true if you are not actively choosing them every single time.
For more details about my genealogy research, preparing my documents for jure sanguinis, and my application in Italy check out my other articles: The Truth in The Cashbox;In The Absence of Evidence; and Piano, Piano.
